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Expectations

Written by: Michael S. True, M.Ed



This article is copy protected and should only be reproduced by permission of the author. For information contact me at: mstrue1@hotmail.com .



     How do you like your eggs?


     It's an easy thing to see those eggs in front of you, over-easy, scrambled, or in the perfect omelet. You give the order to the waitress and wait. Then, a short time later, the eggs are served. Now we judge the cook's handiwork; perfect...or not!

      Most people don't realize that everyday we do the same thing to our children, our parents, bosses, school-mates, neighbors, and so on. We all have expectations. We know what we like and what we do not like. Yes, and even those we know and love the best get judged every day!

     In our mind's eye, we would prefer one person to dress differently, another to speak differently, and yet another to want to do the things we enjoy doing. We want the people around us to behave the way we want them to behave.

      However, expectations are a double-edged sword. That is to say, we need things to be a certain way in order for us to enjoy them. At the very same time, we all hate to be judged, especially if we feel we are being mis-judged.

      The way we see people around us effects the way we act towards them. If we like what they are doing, we smile, hug, praise, and most importantly accept. Rejection is the other path our expectations take. We tend to expect trouble, fear, or discomfort around those we have a hard time understanding or liking.

      What does this do to the other person?

     "Put yourself in my shoes..." is an old expression. If the tables were turned and we were the object of someone else's put-downs, we wouldn't feel as good about ourselves when we are around them. And, more importantly, we would begin to look at the differences between ourselves and those putting us down. We would begin building walls. If the treatment we received was bad enough, we would eventually act ever more negative toward the giver. We would, and do, learn to hold negative expectations in our minds about people who continuously criticize us.

     It is quite the opposite when a person has good expectations of us. We enjoy spending time with them. We want to be something good, something special in their eyes. We will be more trusting and gain more from the interaction when we are with someone who likes us for who we are.

     My challenge to you, the reader, is to look at your own expectations, the ones deep down inside. Are they positive or negative. Are we accepting or rejecting? Then, we must come to realize how great our influence is on the other person's behavior, child or adult. It is a natural fact, we tend to be what others see us as being. We grow to meet those expectations.

     Expect the worst and it will come to be. Expect the best and you will get the best!







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